Green Grass

Have you ever noticed that no matter what Costco you go into, they’re set up the exact same way? Seriously, it’s almost creepy how alike they all are. When you’re inside those four, big-boxed walls, it’s like you could be in any Costco any where in the country. And I’m now realizing that they do this for those of us who have recently moved and are missing our home. Costco in Chicago would be the exact same as it would be in Salt Lake. It’s not like I’ve spent much time in Costcos (or have been to one here in Chicago) but I actually thought to myself that it would make me feel better if I went to Costco, and pretended I was in Salt Lake, just for a little while. 

I’m not super homesick, or regret moving to Chicago by any means, I LOVE it here and I am so happy that I’m starting life over in a new city. It’s been so fun, but it’s also exhausting having to relearn everything. For a few minutes I would like to be inside Costco, and feel as if I was on 300 West in Salt Lake, with my cute car sitting in the parking lot waiting for me to drive me home, up the canyon to my parent’s house for my mama’s cooking. 

There’s comfort in the familiar and being in a city where everything is so new and foreign is scary. Most Sundays, I will take my computer for a couple of hours to the Starbucks down the street and blog. I don’t do this because I think Starbucks has the best coffee or the best internet connection (because believe me the internet there blows). I do it because it’s something I know. I know what’s on the menu, I know, for the most part, what will happen while I’m there and what the atmosphere is like.

Same goes for Bikram. I started practicing Bikram again, and I couldn’t wait to spend 90 minutes doing something that I knew how to do and didn’t have to relearn. I knew what pose was coming next and I knew what the instructor was going to say to the class. It was just like a class would be in Salt Lake. 

It’s funny because the “grass is always greener” mentality is totally applying to me right now. For all of 2013, I couldn’t wait to leave Salt Lake. I was ready for a new adventure and to learn a new city and way of life. And now that I’m in, sometimes I miss little ol’ Salt Lake and all its quirks. 

And I’m not writing this because I regret coming here and want to move back home. I don’t. I’m happy here. I want to be in Chicago and I’m choosing to relearn things that I used to know like the back of my hand (like streets and bus routes and people). But sometimes, when I’m feeling really overwhelmed, I would like to know where the hell I am without having to use Google Maps. 

And eventually, I’ll feel this way about Chicago. And when I’m away from this city, I’ll miss it. Eventually I will learn the streets and will be the person giving out the directions instead of on the receiving end of them. Eventually this will happen. But in this moment, I’m homesick and would like to walk around Costco for a little while. 

Who knew that a big, box store could bring me such comfort?


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