Woah. It’s been awhile. How the heck are you? I have been bussssy with a capital B. And I know it’s maybe uncouth to talk about how busy you are, but just let me be that annoying friend for a sec, okay?
Work blew up and a week-long trip to New York was at the center of it all. Shorty after work blew up, life did the same. We’re in the beginning stages of putting together the pieces for our move to Minneapolis. Which I don’t think I’ve mentioned on the blog before. So, SURPRISE! We’re moving! All the emotions are happening over here. Overwhelming excitement for a new adventure but also fear for the unknown. As of right now we don’t know where we’ll be living and I have no idea what I’ll be doing for work. Luckily Sam and I are going to Minnesota this weekend to look at places (I think we have seven apartment tours on Saturday.. holy moly). It’ll feel so nice to cross “find a place to live so you aren’t homeless” off the to-do list.
So, yeah, things are a-changin’ over here. But it’s all good and I hope it doesn’t come across like I’m complaining. Because seriously, how lucky am I to go on an adventure with the person I love most in a fun, new city ? The answer is so lucky.
Along with all these changes unfortunately (for me) comes anxiety. You’d think that I’d have this whole moving thing under control by now, considering I’ve moved to a new city about five times in the past ten years, starting with moving from Vermont to Park City at 16. But even though after that initial move, all the moves I’ve made have been my choice, it doesn’t get any easier. And I’m starting to think that maybe subconsciously I get so anxious about these big changes because I had such a terrible time with the first move and I fear that I’ll have the same experience all over again. Even though I know that’s not possible. The mind, man.. sometimes it’s so hard to control it.
For the past month or so, my anxiety has looked like a lot of different things. It’s looked like extreme sensitivity. It’s looked like wanting to spend a lot of time alone. It’s looked like grinding my teeth so much that I wake up to a jaw that is so stiff and achey.
But something has changed over the past week and it’s kind of so crazy simple that I need to talk about it.
So before the whole “work blew up” bit, back in like March, I was in a really great routine of meditating and journaling. I would wake up about 30 minutes earlier than I normally would every morning and meditate for 15 minutes and write in my journal. Usually jotting down what I’m grateful for and the goals I have for the day. Before bed, I would do the same. I had this routine for about six weeks and I felt so great. My head was clear. My relationship with Sam was better. My relationship with myself was better (eye-roll, I know. But it’s true).
But then, along came the shit storm that was May and June and away went all those good practices. I felt like I had no time to do those healthy things for myself.
But then about a week ago, I decided to get back into my healthy routine. I’ve been meditating and journaling daily and I truly believe that because I take 30 minutes to do these two simple things every day, my mood and headspace is incredibly better. I’m calmer, more understanding, less antsy. And although I am still in the thick of making these huge decisions and life-changes, I feel good. Which is definitely not how I would have described my mood a month ago. And although I may still be busy (aren’t we all) I’m now able to handle it much more gracefully.
It’s wild that when we’re in the midst of so much anxiety we stop doing the simple things that can calm our minds and help us navigate through the change and uncertainty.
So, yeah, that’s basically what’s been going on. I’m hoping that I can update more on here and keep you posted on the move. It feels good to blog, and making the time for things that fill me up is so important. I hope you’re taking the time too! You’re never too busy to do what’s best for your mental health.
main photo via: http://shannonkirsten.blogspot.com/